Matt Damon is known for constantly playing characters in need of rescue. It’s really quite astonishing when you think about the excessive effort and time it takes to save this dude from danger over and over. But we’re less interested in energy, and more interested in funds. Specifically, how much money did it take to save Matt Damon?
To be clear, what we’re looking for here is the real-life dollar costs of executing the near-suicide missions undertaken to save Matt Damon if the scenarios he gets stuck in the movies were real. We’re not just talking about film budgets here, people. Let’s not be silly.
Thankfully, somebody has already thought of answering this question, and his name is Kynan Eng. When it popped up on the popular question-and-answer site Quora, he was quick to do the semi-accurate math (more on that later) to give us the answer we need.
In Courage Under Fire, Matt Damon plays a guy who need to be rescued via helicopter during the first Gulf War.
Estimated Cost of Rescue: $300k
In Saving Private Ryan, Matt Damon plays a private who needs to be rescued by a World War 2 European search party.
Estimated Cost of Rescue: $100k
In Titan AE, Matt Damon voices a guy who needed to be evacuated from Earth via spaceship.
Estimated Cost of Rescue: $200B
In Syriana, Matt Damon plays an analyst who needed a return flight from the Middle East to Switzerland.
Estimated Cost of Rescue: $50k
In Green Zone, Matt Damon plays a soldier who needed to be rescued via the US Army transport from Middle East
Estimated Cost of Rescue: $50k
In Elysium, Matt Damon plays a factory worker who gets trapped in his workplace
Estimated Cost of Rescue: $100m
In Interstellar, Matt Damon plays a scientist who gets trapped in his workplace
Estimated Cost of Rescue: $500B
In The Martian, Matt Damon plays an astronaut who gets trapped outstation
Estimated Cost of Rescue: $200B
Total costs for saving Matt Damon: $900,100,500,000
Now, some of you may be asking, what makes this Kynan Eng guy so qualified in answering this question? We’ll let him tell you himself. Here he is, via a post he wrote on Medium about a week ago:
“I am part-time on the faculty of the Institute of Neuroinformatics of the University of Zurich and the ETH Zurich. Unfortunately, however, I was not paid or given time to answer this question, and it’s definitely not endorsed by any of my employers (they probably don’t even know as of this writing). And no I haven’t worked at NASA, ESA or any military organisation. One of the startups I’m involved with has done work for the United States Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency on neuromorphic sensors and autonomous drones, but that’s as close as it gets.”
“If I do have any relevant qualifications, they are as follows: I have degrees in mechanical engineering and computer science, and once designed parts for gas turbines. So I have guessed engineering things for a living. More recently I have been involved in a number of technology startups, so I also guess the cost of things that don’t exist yet. I’m not rich, so obviously I need more practice at guessing.”
Also, remember how we said these number are only semi-accurate? When asked how he discovered these figures, he had this to say:
“I just made them up,” he confessed to BuzzFeed News. “This is not real research in the sense that I know it. It would be nice to get this type of coverage for my real work.”
Ah well. We’re as close as we can get to the real cost of saving Matt Damon though, so that’s gotta be worth something. Or is it?
Almost certainly not. Truth is, we think Matt Damon is likely to get himself in some other shenanigan some other time in the future that is more than likely going to require some saving (unless it’s another Bournesequel). And when he does, we’ll be right in the cinemas waiting for somebody to get him the heck outta there.
We are really excited about the new Godzilla movie. From what we
hear, the big guy won’t be stomping through KL in the film, but what if
he really did? Here are 14 things that might happen.
1. Big traffic Jams
2. The damage would be catastrophic
3. The Prime Minister would maintain an ‘elegant silence’ about the divisive Godzilla issue. (He cant be expected to speak up every time some big mouth comes to town!)
4. Our Government would take immediate action.
5. More traffic problems
6. Everyone would be taking ‘Godzilla selfies’
….and be proud to receive Godzilla photo bombs!
7. Shutter heads would be trying to capture ‘forced perspective’ photographs with the mighty behemoth.
8. Will our heroes come to our rescue?
9. Our Defense Minister would plan a way for us to strike back!
10. Some would identify those responsible for the monster menace…
11. Many will flee
12. Those who love all things Japanese will be delighted
13. Mamak menu items would include monster sized portions…
14. Eventually, we racially tolerant 1Malaysians would accept Godzilla as one of our own and turn our attention towards the next crisis…
外国的 A&W 热狗是主打的招牌菜，但到了大马狗狗悲剧的迷路了，从此再也找不回来…
胖熊哥中招的还不是一个哦，大马家喻户晓的招牌饮料「Root Beer」在2009惨遭更名变成不知道什么鬼的「Sarsaparila」，最后变成现在的「RB」。你现在去 A&W 看看他们的菜单，看你还找到当年熟悉的「Root Beer」字眼吗？
这个 1901 Hot Dogs 一直在马来群里非常火，人家的创办人还是2位马来人呢。原本人家招牌多么引人注目，多么一看就明白，现在呢只剩下可怜的「1901」，鬼懂你在买什么咩！
这个是可口可乐公司推出的招牌汽水「Ginger Beer」，在英国可受欢迎的呢，但到了大马变成什么？「Ginger Ale」？Ale 是什么鬼？念起来舌头都打结了！可口可乐的心那个痛啊…
老爸（Dog）中招，儿子（Puppy）应该也不远了！来来来 Hush Puppies 高层，小编有个提议，看看这么改如何？
