Monday, August 11, 2014

10 Things Nightlife Has Taught Me

Nightlife may very well be one of the most artificial scenes on planet earth, yet it remains an attraction virtually all people feel they must engage in.

Nightlife does not just refer to going out and drinking a beer at the local bar, but rather an immersion in an exciting and adventurous way of life, a glamorous environment many embrace for how different and it is compared to their boring, daily routines.

Thanks mostly to the influence of popular culture, we have all dreamed of drinking at clubs engulfed in loud music and beautiful women. With the rise of EDM (electronic dance music) going from just feel good music to worldwide phenomenon, more and more clubs have began to open up everywhere due of the increased demand of this atmosphere.

I used to be one of those guys who went out every night, making it my top priority to party more than anyone I knew. Since I’ve also experienced nightlife all around the world, it’s safe to say I have learned some valuable lessons in terms of the different experiences I have had trying to make my fantasies of being in a hip-hop video come true. From all the up’s and down’s along the way, here is the reality of the modern day club scene.

10. Nothing is what it seems
Nightlife is a façade. It’s almost as if it’s not even real because of how many artificial people, smiles and relationships are made within it. From the outside, nightlife looks like one of the coolest things anyone has ever seen but from the inside it is nothing more than some insecure people trying to fit in and look like they are having the time of their lives.

Sometimes you will go to a table where everyone looks like they are having fun only to find out they were really looking to get as many free drinks as possible off innocent people who don’t know who they really are.

This actually makes sense because all the information given out pertaining to people’s lives is mostly as fake as the horrific spray tan standing right next to you.

9. Thank God for EDM
This is more of an observation than a lesson but has anyone ever thought about what the hell the world would ever do without the increase in the popularity of EDM? This music has become the new age rock and has in turn created its own breed of new age hippies.

The industry has become a cash cow and any heavily promoted night with a big DJ will have crowds lining up at the door to get in. EDM is the feel good music that puts a smile on everyone’s face when they realize how much fun it is to dance to. Can you imagine if hip-hop were still hot and we were all standing around still leaning back and trying to mimic the lyrics of every song?

8. The crowds are getting worse and worse
It seems that nightlife is getting worse and worse out there.

With drugs and sex both becoming more and more a part of the culture, the respect this generation has for itself is long gone. Instead, it’s all about having a story to tell rather than what actually happens in the story itself.

7. No one is really having fun
One of the things I have noticed from going out on countless nights is that if you look around, no one is actually having any fun. They are just standing there trying to look like they fit in, desperately worried about what everyone looking at them is thinking as opposed to what the people they have surrounded themselves with are saying.

So many times will you see people pretending to be busy on their phones when they are actually playing a game to distract themselves from the fact that they aren’t really talking to anyone at all. Worst of all are the couples at the club who will almost always be fighting rather than enjoying each other’s company.

6. When in doubt go with the help
Every alpha male has a soft spot for bottle waitresses for two reasons. The first being that it’s a challenge to pick them up, since every guy they see is trying to do the same thing and we all know how alpha males love challenges.

Secondly, odds are they are probably the hottest girls in the club and also the smartest since they have figured out a great way to make money off the stupidity of others.

Even though she might be secretly laughing at your mistake of purchasing a 10 dollar bottle of Vodka that the club buys at a wholesale price, their confidence mixed with their happiness with the environment is the most attractive thing you’ll find there.

5. Europe is where it’s at
Partying in America sucks when compared to the nightlife in Europe. The only place that is even considered fun in the states is club LIV in Miami because it’s the only club that has a real European style in terms of the level of partying and the size of the club (most clubs in LA and NY are the size of shoeboxes for some reason).

In America, people are just trying way too hard to look like they are having fun whereas in Europe, the people tend to care more about who they are talking to rather than who is looking at them from afar. American nightlife is like the canal street version of the real fun that goes on in places such as Ibiza, Mykonos, Moscow, Barcelona and so on.

4. No reason to buy champagne
Under no circumstances is there absolutely reason to buy champagne in a club. For starters, if you are so insecure that you need some cheap sparklers to surround your table for a mere 1 and a half minutes then you have other issues that need to be addressed.

Champagne ultimately has nothing to offer you. It runs out faster than a wishing well, gets no one drunk in the process and people get tired of it so fast that when the night ends there will usually be at least two filled glasses left on the table. Lastly, the hangover from champagne is the one of the most excruciating hangovers a human being can experience. It’s just not worth the trouble.

3. Promoters are terrible people
Throughout the course of going out, I have maybe come by one promoter that was actually a normal person. Club promoters are usually a scheming race of people who think they are relevant because they bring in models who sit at their tables drinking Svedka.

These guys think everyone wants to be them when really everybody is wondering how someone so reportedly well off is hanging out with trash and drinking cheap liquor. They are stuck in the night life scene and never seem to find their way out.

2. No celebrity wants to be your friend
It doesn’t matter how many bottles that you send over to their table, no celebrity will ever give a f*ck about you. That being said, you have no right to ever say you partied with celebrities just because you were 15 feet away from their table and maybe saw the side of their head.

They couldn’t care less about the peasants that are trying to snap pictures with them and will gladly take all your groupies for the great price of nothing in return.

1. None of this matters
If you haven’t had that moment in a club yet where you’re just standing there, thinking “none of this matters,” than your priorities are in the wrong place. After going out for so long you soon realize that it’s all the same, monotonous routine and aside from a terrible hangover and sloppy sex, this scene has absolutely nothing to offer.

It doesn’t benefit your life at all and the next day is always the most unproductive day you’ve ever had. There are more important things you can be doing with your time like working or building your future rather than looking for a quick five minutes of fun and avoiding FOMO. Grow up buddy.


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